the countryside

PJ brought her Road Atlas so I felt less anxious about getting lost in the countryside. We drove past a vast suburban area until we reached a long road where PJ and her boyfriend got into a minor vehicular accident months ago. We cheered whenever the skies turned gray and booed each time the sun came out. “Let’s just not talk about the weather,” PJ (or was it Peachy?) suggested.

We arrived in Tagaytay just in time for lunch. While sorting our options for a place to eat, we drove around to scan the place. “Who is that?” I asked PJ, drawing attention to the statue in the rotunda, “Mr. Tagaytay?”

“I’m not sure who that is. He looks like Ninoy.”

We decided to dine at Gourmet Café where we had pasta, pizza and cheesecake. When we came inside the restaurant, Peachy noted that the in-house pianist was playing “Unbreak My Heart” by Toni Braxton, and for a moment we thought we wouldn’t enjoy the place. Peachy took the matter into her hands and wrote a list of songs on a piece of paper. She handed the note to the pianist and hoped that at least one of our requested songs gets played. In no time we found ourselves singing to “As Time Goes By,” “I’ll Be Seeing You,” “It Had to be You,” “Misty,” “They Can’t Take That Away From You,” among other songs. Peachy didn’t ask for “Bewitched” but that’s fine.

Maricris, the café’s gracious manager approached us over dessert, really amazed that we knew all those songs. After a short chat she offered to give us a walking tour of their 8-hectare farm where we were greeted by mating dogs. Peachy asked me to take photos but the farm dogs had gotten off before I could even locate the camera in my bag. “Look! I’ve never seen it (the male dog’s dick) like that!” Maricris exclaimed. She let us touch the rosemary shrubs while talking about the variety of vegetables available in the farm. "We have parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme here."

After lounging around for the rest of the afternoon, we bought a bottle of red wine at Titania Deli to cap the day. Assisted by two gorgeous transvestites and a middle-aged woman, we drank wine al fresco while waiting for the sun (the bane of our existence) to set.

weekend trip

8:30am, I had breakfast at McDonald’s Quezon Avenue where I was supposed to meet up with Peachy. I had predicted that, in true Peachy fashion, she’d show up very late (an hour and a half, to be exact) so I wasted no time bugging her to hurry up. She asked if there was any possibility she could just meet me at Wendy’s Boni, where PJ had been reading the Sunday paper and waiting for us with unflagging patience. “No,” I said, “Just get your ass in here as we planned.” I had emptied a small box of cigarettes and neglected to finish off my corned beef sandwich when she finally arrived. We got into the car immediately and sped along EDSA. When we picked her up at 7-Eleven, PJ asked, “Why are we all in shades of pink?”

To avoid the heavy weekend traffic, PJ suggested we take the C-5 route. I warned the girls that I would not be talking much during the ride because driving outside Manila always makes me tense.

“Just relax,” PJ told me.

“Can we smoke inside the car?” Peachy asked.

“No! No opening of windows!”

“Can we at least stop by a…stopover?”

“There’s one over there,” PJ said, being the only one in the group who had a clear idea where we’re headed.

“Okay. We stop at the next gas station.”

“PJ, look at his knuckles! They’re white!” Peachy pointed at me while I was nervously gripping the steering wheel.

But overall, the South Luzon Expressway drive was a breeze.

unusual day

When we came inside the office this morning we found the whole place turned upside down. Unidentified men ransacked our workplace last night, leaving locks broken, drawers opened, papers scattered everywhere, and dishes unwashed. They took some cash with them, along with a 15-inch Apple Powerbook and several rolls of toilet paper. They even left a marketing letter from the Asian Institute of Management on my table.

“Did you lose anything?” an officemate asked me.

“I have nothing here of any significance,” I answered.

“How about your paycheck?”

“Oh yes! That!” I panicked for a couple of seconds, thinking money buys 90+% of what I really need. “It’s here, inside my drawer, being eaten by the office bugs.”

After securing my paycheck M., M. and I decided cigarettes were called for so we trooped down to the fire exit where we bumped into one of God’s chosen people, The Resident Israelite. He had just spoken to policemen in his mobile phone because, it turned out, his office had been robbed as well. He greeted us “Good morning!” and asked about our losses. “Misery loves company,” I jokingly remarked, and he laughed, cigarette smoke coming out of his nose.

When we came back to the office The Nice One announced that she lost five thousand pesos, and was very calm about it. “I’ve accepted what happened. Maybe the robbers needed the money more, so I only hope it changed their lives.”

M. retorted, “I hope they drown in a river.”

“It is very possible those crooks will get away with it,” I said. I was only happy they didn't steal my milk lotion.

An hour later, the policemen came and filled the office with their PNP stench. Investigators began asking for our whereabouts and possible suspects. They behaved like total jerks, hitting on the girls and dropping sexual innuendos. A couple of them went over the sliding window to check for entry points, and in my mind I was imagining how cool it would be if they threw themselves off.

One investigator asked me why I keep dozens of empty cigarette boxes in my drawer. I said, “I don’t know.”

After work, I retired to a small and quiet steakhouse for cheap beers and a burger. Trying to recount the events of the day, I laughed when Orpheus’s “I Can’t Find the Time To Tell You” was played on the radio.